dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
