I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
