That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize