Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
