i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
