i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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