And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
