can we get nightvision for the apartment?
even my farts smell like vagina
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
