Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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