I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Girls should come with a carfax report
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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