Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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