White coat. Heels.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
