His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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