Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize