I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
