help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
