you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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