i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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