when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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