Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my liver is dry heaving
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
