I can text with my tongue
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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