The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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