Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
