I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
