Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
