I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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