If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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