Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
