you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just googled if crying burns calories
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
