this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
