we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
