suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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