Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
