it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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