Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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