I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
