just come out here and I will go home with you...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
