Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
