2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
