Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
