mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
