so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
