Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
