just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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