I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
