It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
