He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
