she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize