woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
