no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
