also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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