Pappa wants mamma naked
I puked a lego.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
