so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
