We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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