I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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