It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize