Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
