awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
