So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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