I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
that may or may not have been my penis.
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