By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize