the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I intend to get homeless drunk
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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