I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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