none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was so not down for the gang bang
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
