I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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