She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
