I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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