We won't sleep together?
I am puke
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The uberlube is also flammable
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
