do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
